What is this city's hydroponic weed?
Let me rephrase that.
I know what it is. Marijuana. I grew into adulthood in the sixties, you know. But how did our homegrown version of grass become so famous? And who started growing it hydroponically?
And am I the only naive resident, the only person who hadn't heard about it before? Did you know about it?
Reading a Boston tabloid newspaper account of the recent HempFest on the Boston Common, I was surprised, to put it mildly, to find out our own top crop is so famous.
The Hempfest was, well, what you might guess it was. An event, earlier this month, for potheads to promote legality for their favorite, well, joints.
The newspaper, in its "Neighborhood Notes" section (and we're still reading the Police Log and Pulse Line) talked about the cost of an eighth of an ounce of "Westfield, MA, hydroponic weed."
How much, you ask? Well, $50. For one eighth of an ounce! So a whole ounce would be $400. And a pound, well, I'm so astounded that my math may be wrong! But, at sixteen ounces to the pound, it looks like $6,400.
Furthermore, High Times Magazine says Westfield's hydroponic weed has a "mind blowing high."
And, I thought we were famous for bicycles and whips.
The Hempfest, by the way, was the same day the Red Sox lost their pennant race at Fenway.
And, according to the Boston Tab, only 33,871 people attended the game. More than 50,000 attended the HempFest.
Arrests? Six at the Red Sox game; sixty at HempFest.
And, the cost of a game ticket was only $35.
Which wouldn't have bought even the eighth of an ounce of that Westfield Hydroponic Weed with the Mind Blowing High. And, I don't think it would have lasted a full nine innings.
This may be my shortest column ever. I just can't think of how to react to this agricultural news.
I think I'll just head over to Washington Street and see if any drugbusts are eminent. Or check the water department at city hall for sites with unusual usage.