The Importance of a Doughnut

Do I get a lot of mail, e-mail, or calls about the state’s $24-billion budget? So-called "clean elections"? Or, seatbelts? Important stuff?

Answer. I get some, but not a lot. In comparison, I got many more in reply to my column about a doughnut.

Yes, if you missed it, a doughnut. And the legislature’s debate about making the Boston Cream Doughnut the official doughnut of the Commonwealth. (The bill was suggested by a third grader in a class studying how laws are made.)

In my column (find it in the June 9th Westfield Evening News and here on my website) I suggested that the Boston Cream doughnut was "too Eastern, too Boston, too inside 495" and it doesn’t even have a doughnut hole. Why not the Bavarian from Mrs. Murphy’s in Southwick?

Why, I asked, do we even need an official doughnut?

The response included samples, with a few people delivering the said doughnut to my office. Still personally preferring the sugar or cinnamon doughnut, and knowing that custard and chocolate calories look better on those under 30, I gave them to my eager-to-eat aides.

Highlights from the verbal responses I got included "Aren't you concerned with the doughnut constituency? Or are you just throwing powdered sugar to the wind."

And, "I vote for the fritillary!!!  As a citizen of the Commonwealth, I demand that you support this cause!" 

And, more:

"Have you ever thought of running for Governor? I'm sure you could find a few better ways for a child to learn how our laws are put together than the what, when, where and how a law was made to pick a state doughnut."

"I like just a plain one as it dips well in a cup of tea." 

"I love your sense of humor,  sure you need it." 

"I saw something else about this in the paper the other day, and you know, it is really starting to make me pig-biting mad. I am proud of you for standing up against this willful, selfish child.

"Notwithstanding my own beliefs in social parity, I do believe that the government that governs least governs best. Just because a child wants something, it does not mean it makes for a good law for all of us. Is it any wonder that the sponsors of these ridiculous bills (children, school groups) are not themselves taxpayers?

"Those who do seek a return for their tax dollar investment are not well served by official state donuts, pets, fish, and cookies. At its core, this kind of bill mocks the very institution of government, and it will be a sad day indeed when we can only look to our legislature to pass bills regarding donuts and bugs while true social reform waits huddling the street."

"I bet your 'beyond 495' line went over big in Westfield!"

"We could stage a great photo of a bunch of idle, union, Big Dig workers sitting around eating Boston Creme donuts while traffic backs up behind them. That should get the message across!"

I guess this guy didn’t catch the humor. "Has ‘anyone’ in government ever had a complete thought???"

And, finally:

"The Boston Kreme donut embodies what all other donuts strive to be!

"There is only one other donut that can come close to it in structure (the Jelly) but yet it receives no publicity. Why? Because of the overwhelming support the public has for the Boston Kreme. According to the article in the Globe, ‘the Kreme’ (as it is affectionately called by its' lovers) is the most popular donut in America!"

"Do you really want to support a donut company (Krispy Kreme) based out of North Carolina instead of Massachusetts born Dunkin' Donuts?!!!!"

"I put it you you, Cele, we all live and love this great State of ours, but if you chose to ignore the constituents, from your own backyard, along with the general public, I would have no choice but to remind you of this blatant slap-in-the-face every time an event happens East of 495.

"I would like to remind you, that the local baseball team, which bears the name of the state capital, has transcended the Eastern Mass/Western Mass mentality and I say why not extend the same respect to Miss Emma Krane and the Boston Kreme."

I surrender, I surrender. But, who is Miss Emma Krane? And, is it cream, creme or kreme?

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